#33 Oh shit! Oh Shit!

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Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Well, hello Your Favorite You listeners. Welcome back to the podcast. I really cannot believe we're at episode 33 already. I know you have already heard my disclaimer, but I say shit countless times in this episode, as if the name of the episode wasn't a clue. So, if you don't want your toddler going around saying oh shit, oh shit, I suggest you use earbuds for this one.

I just got off a coaching call with one of my coaches. His name is Darryl Taylor, for those of you wondering. He's an amazing coach and he listens to the podcast. So, hi, Darryl.

I asked for coaching to help me deal with some big feelings that I was having after crossing a big milestone in my business. As part of the business mastermind, I'm in, which is the 200k mastermind, we report our revenue numbers every month so that our coach Stacey can make sure that we're on track with the goals that we set for ourselves when each round of the mastermind commences. And today, like I said, I crossed a big marker in my business and I'm making more money and serving more women than I have ever before in my business.

As I was looking at the numbers, I had lots of thoughts. Mostly, I was just so proud of what I've accomplished, thinking, oh shit, like I'm so proud of myself for having this goal and making it happen. That led to a feeling of elation. And then I also had this thought that when something like oh shit, who are you to be making all of this money? What if it stops?

Like it just led me to lots of feelings of disbelief and trepidation. Now I knew, as soon as I had these competing thoughts, plus a ton of other ones that were similar variations on a theme that I wanted to have someone else's brain help me process this. And it just so happened that I had a one-on-one call set up with Darryl today. So, I'm thankful to my past self for knowing that I was going to need this call without knowing that I was going to need it.

So, anyway, Darryl was quick to remind me that all of the thoughts and feelings that I was having were completely normal. They were completely warranted. I've never been here before at this point in my business, so of course I'm going to have some disquieting thoughts and feelings. I don't need to make these thoughts and feelings wrong. These thoughts and feelings are not a problem, and all of the thoughts and feelings are welcome.

As I grow my business, I’m planning to continue to live on the edge of my comfort zone, so I can predict that this will not be the last time my brain is on the oh shit teeter totter. One side of the teeter totter is oh shit, pride, elation, yummy feelings. The other side is oh shit, disbelief, trepidation and awkwardness, and there are tons of other feelings in between that I'm going to need to be willing to feel and I'm going to need to be able to feel as I do something I've never done before. If you've not yet listened to episode number 5, feel your fucking feelings. I would suggest you go back and listen to that one to remind you of the power of feeling your feelings.

Seeing this oh shit, oh shit moment led me to think about all the other oh shit, oh shit moments I've had in my life. So, thinking back chronologically, I’m sure I had some oh shit, oh shit thoughts when I was younger, but the one I remember first as a seminal moment was going to undergrad.

So, the first thought was oh shit, this is amazing. I'm going to be able to go and live on my own and have freedom, coupled with oh shit, I’m going to be homesick, I’m going to miss my family and friends and I'm going to have to figure out how to live on my own and enjoy freedom, but not go totally overboard, to be able to stay in school. The second moment oh shit, getting into med school. How incredible that all of the work I put in has been recognized by someone else who thinks I can be a doctor too. Coupled with oh shit, I hope I have what it takes to pull this off.

Next, getting married to Jon Oh shit, he's a great person to do life with. He makes me laugh every day. He's smart, he genuinely cares about me and other people And, oh shit, this might be the only person I ever passionately, passionately, kiss ever again. Spoiler alert this has turned out not to be a problem so far. Next, my first days as an attending pediatrician. Oh shit, I’m making a real salary now. Finally, and oh shit, my name is the only one on this chart. This is a lot of responsibility.

Next comes trying to get pregnant with the boys. Oh shit, after all these years of trying to prevent pregnancy, we are a full go, and I can't wait to be a mom. And I will never forget, after trying to get pregnant for the first time, laying there after we're on the kitchen counter, thinking, holy fuck, what have we done? Just kidding mom, just kidding boys. I'm pretty sure you were both conceived on a bed. The next moment, coming home after having my C-section with Jack, oh shit, this is amazing. I love him so much already. And, oh shit, they're letting us take a baby home. Don't they know we're clueless, even though we were both pediatricians at the time.

The next moment, getting my job at our little pediatrics being in private practice after years of working in the urgent care? Oh shit. They offered me the job even after I dropped an F bomb during the initial interview. They must really want me.

And, oh shit, I’m now the primary care provider. I'm not going to be able to say my favorite words that I said at urgent care, which were you'll need to get back with your regular doctor about that, because now I am the regular doctor, oh shit.

Signing up with my first coach? Oh shit. This is going to be amazing. I feel like she knows me, and my problems better than I know them myself. And, oh shit. I've invested the money in myself. Now I need to put in the time and reveal all these parts of myself that I've been hiding.

The next moment, starting my own business, becoming an entrepreneur, oh shit, I get to design this business exactly the way I want it and, oh shit, I’m solely responsible for the success or failure of this business.

Interestingly, when I was originally thinking about this topic, I was only thinking about the positive changes I've made in my life. You can apply this same way of teeter totter thinking to the shitty things that happen in life too. So, I've already shared some of my negative oh shit here and my like personal confessional, but to refresh your memory, oh shit, I’ve given some shitty advice as a pediatrician over the years and, oh shit, now I have this new platform to share what I think now instead.

Oh shit, I may have seriously fucked up my relationship with my kids and, oh shit, now I get to do the work to repair and say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness and do better now that I know better.

Oh shit, I have a problematic relationship with alcohol. Oh shit, it doesn't have to be this way, ever, ever again if I choose a different relationship with myself.

Oh shit, I need to tell my mom I'm quitting pediatrics, became, oh shit, turns out she loves me for way more than just my accomplishments. Thanks, mom.

The whole purpose of all of these examples is to demonstrate that every situation in our lives that is new for us is bound to bring up a slew of emotions and feelings that we need to be safe and willing to feel in order to ever move forward.

Yes, of course you can stay on the treadmill, putting one foot in front of the other, seeing the same thing over and over, thinking the same tried and true thoughts over and over, feeling the same few feelings you've allowed yourself to experience.

Your other option is to get on the trail and see what life off of the treadmill has to offer. You won't know exactly what's ahead. You won't know how you got where you're going until you get there, but that is the mystery and fun of life.

Folks, I invite you to come join me on the trail. I often liking being a coach to being on the same trail as my clients. I'm just a little further ahead than you and I have a compass, a flashlight, plenty of water and some snacks. You set the course for where you think you might want to end up and then we set off together. I would love to be your guide on the trail of life.

My launch has closed for this group and oh shit, you guessed it, your chance to join will open up again in July, to start in August. You can book your consult now to get on the waiting list for July.

Thanks so much for listening. See you back here next week.

Thank you for listening to the podcast and loving on me all the time. Although the doors are closed for the inaugural group of women wanting to become their favorite versions of themselves. No worries. You still have the opportunity to work with me in a group setting. This group is for you since you are listening to my podcast, you will get amazing coaching plus the beauty of a community of other women who are interested in thriving as much as they can, and you also will want you to succeed at becoming your favorite you.

There is benefit that is undeniable from watching another woman being coached on an issue you've had in the past, or one that you're currently having. Our brains just see so much more possibility when we are not the ones in the hot seat. You'll also have the ability to come every week and share your vulnerability and watch others share their vulnerability.

We know that shame only grows in silence. There is power in being held by other incredible humans who are often caught in some of the same traps that you are with your thinking.

Please go right now to www.MelissaParsonsCoaching.com/group and schedule a consult with me so that I can hear how I can help you, and we can decide together if you are a great fit to join the group.

You'll need to join the waitlist. We start in August. Please join us. You will not regret it.