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#21 Becoming an Ex-Good Girl with Sara Fisk

As women, we have been programmed to make life better for others, and be the perpetual people-pleaser that we think we have to be.

It's not about me over you, or vice versa. It's about reciprocity. Relationship. And it starts with recognizing what you want and trusting yourself to give it a try.

In this week's episode, I'm joined by special guest, the Stop People-Pleasing Coach herself, the amazing Sara Fisk.

Sara Bybee Fisk is a Master Certified Coach and Instructor who teaches women how to eliminate people-pleasing and perfectionism from their lives. She is an anxious optimist and born-again feminist who listens to more books than she actually sits down to read. She loves a good hike, good dark chocolate, and good conversations. Her big dreams include learning to sail and to sing and dance like JLo and helping thousands of women create the big, juicy lives they want to be living. She is a wife and mom of 5 and she enjoys those roles most of the time.

"Whether you are finding your favorite version of yourself, whether you are stopping people-pleasing, it leads to this sovereign self-trust, connected, you know, relationship with your own wisdom as your guide. And you just, you can't get it wrong." - Sara

The doors are open for my coaching 1-1 program! If you’re ready to become your favorite version of you, click here to schedule a conversation to see if working together is a good fit.

What You'll Learn:

Why you can't find your favorite you until you let go of people pleasing

  • What it means to trust yourself, even if something goes wrong

  • Why you can't find your favorite you until you let go of people pleasing

  • Our personal experiences with "behaving like we should"

  • The two parts of self-acceptance you have to practice over and over and over again

"I think that a lot of us have been conditioned to be afraid to ask even ourselves what we want, and then to have the ovaries to tell other people what we want and what would delight us, and make us happy, and that type of thing. And I just want to decondition that from people." -Melissa

It's not easy or comfortable to believe that we can let go of the need for approval, validation, and acceptance. You've been someone else's favorite for so long, right? Now it's time to ask: What is my favorite version of me? Click here to schedule a conversation and let's find out.

Listen to the Full Episode:

How to Connect with Sara:

Instagram | @sarafiskcoach

Facebook | SaraFiskCoaching

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intention.

My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend. If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Melissa: Hello everybody. We have a special episode for you today. I am Melissa Parsons, the host of the Your Favorite You Podcast.

Sara: And I'm Sara Bybee Fisk, the host of the Ex-Good Girl Podcast.

Melissa: Sara and I decided that we wanted to share with you all this conversation that we're about to have because all of our present clients, all of our past clients, all of our future clients, and even those of you who will never be clients of ours at all, just fellow women in the world, will benefit from what we're about to talk about today.

So, I'm so happy to have Sara here. She is one of my favorite humans on the planet and I know that the feeling is mutual.

Sara: Yes. Oh, of course.

Melissa: Of course, of course. So, I'm going to start by asking Sara some questions and we're just going to let the conversation kind of naturally happen for you guys so that you can kind of see what it is when two women who love each other, and are trying to make the better the world, a better place by being coaches, you know what happens when we get together and we chat. And you won't get to see all of it because we can't possibly do that, and we're missing some key players in our relationship, but you'll get to see a snippet of what it's like.

So, I want to ask you, Sara; I have this Life on Purpose calendar and I pulled it out today and I was like, okay, like this is perfect for the conversation that we're about to have because we're going to talk about people pleasing. From my perspective, that's what we're going to talk about.

I have no idea what Sara's going to ask me, but this is a quote from Mandy Hale, who I have no idea who she is, but she says "There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others."

And initially I was like, "that's a nice sentiment," but I want to add, "without, like, ruining herself in the process, without doing for herself first, like, without, you know, just putting herself on the back burner, in order to, or setting herself on fire in order to keep other people warm."

Sara: I love that. I would—same sentiment, I would just, you know—you know how when you're correcting a document, you put that little triangle in there to like, "Oh, missing words here?" I would just put the missing words in: "who consciously chooses" to make the place a better place for other people. Because one of the things that I think we are just so unaware of as women is the way, from them minute we came out of our mama's wombs, that we have been programmed to be the people who make life better for other people.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: That's our job. That's what we're rewarded for. That's what we are encouraged to do, and we're constantly sent messages about what our body should look like so, it's nicer to look like, to look at, excuse me.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: What our time is best used for. How we should smile. So, our face is nice to look at. How we should be giving, and generous, and volunteer, and extend ourselves, and be friendly. I'm not actually against any of that. Uh, I don't know. Maybe the body stuff we should talk about more specifically, but is it good to be friendly, and nice, and make life beautiful for others?

Sure. If you consciously choose it. And you are valuing yourself the same as everyone else and you're not setting yourself on fire to make other people warm.

Melissa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I think what I try to teach my clients over and over again is it's okay if you want to do that as long as you're also doing it for yourself.

Sara: Yeah. I mean, I think there's a real argument to be made that the relationships that are important to us benefit from our responsiveness. They benefit from our responding to each other's needs and cries for help, and even some of our wants. I mean, you and I enjoy a very beautiful friendship and we're responsive to each other. We also have learned how to hold ourselves in the same esteem that we hold each other.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: So, that I think is the critical piece that we don't understand. It's not you over me. It's not me over you. It's what happens when both of us, together, matter the same.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: Our wants and needs are equal and I'm responsive to you and you're responsive to me, and we reciprocate.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: Like sometimes I help you. Sometimes you help me. That is a beautiful relationship.

Melissa: Yes. Yeah. And I think that a lot of us have been conditioned to be afraid to ask even ourselves what we want and then to be, you know, have the ovaries then to, like, tell other people what we want and what would delight us, and make us happy, and that type of thing. And I just want to decondition that from people so that they can, you know, when they ask themselves what they want, it might take a minute for you to figure it out, or a day or a week or whatever, but I don't want anyone's answer about herself to be, "I don't know."

Sara: Yes. Yes. That, I mean, it makes a lot of sense that women don't know the answer to that question. And I have a lot of compassion when I get on a call with someone and they, I ask them, you're like, "Who are you? What do you want?" And they have that kind of, "I don't know."

Melissa: Yeah. Deer in the headlights look.

Sara: Yeah. How do you step your clients through learning to ask for what they want and need? What's your process?

Melissa: So, I think the first thing is becoming aware that they don't know.

Sara: Mm-hmm.

Melissa: And like you said, having so much compassion for that. I think it is teaching them that there is no right answer. I have been conditioned since like third grade, like, get the straight A's. There's a right answer. Like, don't fuck this up. You know? And then letting them kind of go out into the world and try it and see what happens. And then letting them know that if they say that they do want something, and then they go out and they try it, and they figure out, "Oh shit, no, I don't want this." It's like, guess what? You get to change your mind.

Sara: Yes.

Melissa: Like now that you're conscious of this and you're stepping into how much power you actually have over your life, then you get to choose. "I want this. I'm going to try it for a little bit and see what happens. And then I get to change my mind. Or I get to keep going full speed ahead and, like, try it in every little area of my life."

And, you know, once they try it in one area and they have some success, or they have some failure and I teach them, then, "Okay, how can we be compassionate toward yourself? How does it make total sense that that's what you thought that you wanted at first? How does it make total sense that you don't want this anymore?"

And then, you know, going out and either celebrating the little successes along the way. Or, I think the biggest piece for my people is having compassion when it doesn't work out the way that you thought. And one of the things I love, love, love for people to get, and to understand, is that no matter what happens in their life, you know the worst thing that can happen, as long as you have physical safety and you're not in a situation where your physical safety is in jeopardy, like the worst thing that can happen is how you treat and talk to yourself after you go out and experiment.

Sara: That is so good.

Melissa: Yeah, and we can just make the agreement. Like "I used to think that it was the answer when I did something that didn't turn out the way that I wanted was to beat myself up and say, 'I should have never tried that in the first place.' Or like, 'who was I to think that I could try this type of thing?'"

You know, being able to go in and say like, "No, that is not the answer." The answer is love and compassion for yourself over and over and over again. And it just feels—like, once they get it and they start doing it, and it's just so beautiful, and they can spread it out on their relationships with everybody, it's like, oh, this is the magic.

Sara: That is the magic. Yeah. It's interesting because as you were going, you know, and talking through that process, I just, my mind started thinking of just all of the things that we are taught as good girls, as women who grow up in a patriarchal western capitalist, you know, cis-hetero, male dominated… Should I keep going?

Melissa: Yes, I'm with you.

Sara: You know, all of the things that we are taught that work against that process. Like number one, women are praised for not having needs. Right? For just being there for everyone else. And like you said, you got the messaging early third grade, get the A. Always work hard.

Don't settle for anything less than perfection. And I think it's interesting for us to just do the exercise right now. Like, think back… when do you remember getting messages like: don't have needs, get the A, always surpass, you know, your classmates in excellence, be the one who takes care of other people, be the one who doesn't have needs, the easy child, the one who, you know, just makes it easy for all the adults in the room to just go on with their day because you don't have any needs.

Melissa: Mm-hmm. It's interesting because I can relate to some of that, but I was a little bit of a rebel, you know, from the get-go. And I pushed the envelope. I'm not going to, like, sit here and say that I didn't like—yeah. As you can imagine with me, like, you know, we've been friends for several years now, like, I like to push the envelope and I'd like to see—

Sara: In a shocking twist, no one saw coming. Melissa likes to push the envelope.

Melissa: Yes. So, I mean, I can remember, and I'm proud of myself for this, like leaving church. I was raised Catholic and leaving church in the middle of mass when the priest was talking about how people who were divorced, you know, cannot receive the sacrament of communion. And I was just like, "Why?" That's just so stupid. Like, so their relationship didn't work out and now they're, like, somehow less than us.

And I just remember, like, my mom and dad and sister were sitting there and, I don't know. I must have been around 15, 16, and I was just like, "Gimme the keys. Like, I'm not listening to this." And I walked out. Like—

Sara: Okay, that blows my mind. I know, as a girl raised Mormon, who didn't leave her church until, you know, three years ago, that you felt empowered to do that is amazing to me. And I didn't mean to suggest that all, I mean, all women get the same messages, but we internalize them differently.

Melissa: Yeah.

Sara: So, you get the A. My messaging was "Be good. Be good. Don't cause trouble. Don't have needs." And again, I almost imagined that my mom listens to this, and I'm like, "Mom, it's not your fault. You were doing what you thought was right." Right? But I was the oldest.

Melissa: Yeah. Oh yeah.

Sara: And so, the better I was, the less I disrupted her very busy. Very full life. And so, it's not our parents' fault, necessarily, but I think if we think back to the way each of us received messages around how we were expected to be, then it makes so much sense that as adult women, we have trouble having needs, not getting the A, doing it imperfectly, you know, speaking up and having an opinion when we were praised for not having one. Right?

Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I would say the family that I was raised in was pretty prominent in our city. I mean, it's a tiny little town in Ohio. But my grandfather was the mayor and the county commissioner, and we owned a family business. And there was definitely messaging that I put on myself like, "Do not give the Reichmans or the Roberts a bad name," right? Do the things that will keep the name pristine and be an example of, you know, being a good kid and you know, not fucking it up. And, you know—and of course my mom is listening to this, too. Hi mom—like, I think that when you do this work to give your compassion and love, it makes it so much easier to see, like, why our parents did what they did, why our grandparents did what they did, and like, just going back generations.

And you know, it's one of those things where, like, of course, it makes sense and still, even still, we don't have to keep going down this path if it doesn't make sense anymore.

Sara: Yeah, absolutely. The other thing that occurred to me, you know, as you were describing your processes, one of the expectations that is so strong is the fact that if we as women ask for something or want something, we have to have really good reasons for wanting it, and we have to prove why it's important and we have to prove why it matters. And if our logic has any flaws in it, then we didn't think it through well enough. We're flighty.

We are, you know, our logical process is not dependent. And so, I just imagine that a lot of women, myself included, when we are going after things that we want, we put it off because we're like, "But do I really want it? Is it really logical? Does it really make sense? Is it really worth it? Do I really need it?"

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: And having to always have this burden of proving why it's important is a real thing. It's hard for a woman to say, "I want it just because I want it."

Melissa: Yeah.

Sara: For no other reason. Just because I want it. And then if I don't want it anymore, people are going to think I'm flighty. You know, I am. I don't really know what I want. But really, that's the process by which we find out.

Melissa: Yes. So, good.

Sara: Yeah. Nobody tells a five-year-old kid, who wants macaroni and cheese one minute and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the next minute, that they're flighty. That they don't know what they want.

We understand that part of childhood is trying different things, but girls are divorced from their own knowing of their bodies so early that that's actually the process we have to reconnect to. Is knowing in our body. And sometimes that means I want mac and cheese right now, and five minutes later I want a peanut butter sandwich.

But as an adult woman, that gets labeled as flighty or some other kind of label that denigrates the process of like, "Actually no, I'm just figuring me out."

Melissa: Hmm. So, good. And I mean, what I would say to that from my perspective is yes, of course you're just figuring it out. And yes, of course, at one minute you're going to want one thing, and the next minute you're going to want the next.

I see it come up a lot with my clients before they sign on to be my client. Where, you know, we talk about, you know, this is the investment that you're going to make in yourself. And they say, "I have to ask my husband."

Sara: Yeah.

Melissa: And of course. Like, it's a big money financial decision to make. And you know, most healthy, thriving couples, like, discuss purchases before they make them. But what I want them to do is, like, yes, go to him knowing that you already want this. Don't let him be the person who decides whether you get this, or you don't.

Sara: Yeah. I mean, it's the difference between—because my husband and I discuss purchases. In fact, we often laugh that in the beginning years of our marriage, we would discuss any purchase over like $25, right?

Melissa: Yeah.

Sara: So, we've come away since then, but it's the difference between going to the husband or the partner and saying, "Is this okay with you that I do this?" versus "This is what I have decided that I want, that I need, that will be good for me, that will work for me, that I want your input on the money part of it in terms of timing. Does it work? Or how will we make this work?"

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: That is completely different energy than, "Is this okay with you? Do I have your approval to do this?"

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: And sometimes inviting our clients to decide, "this is what I want, this is what I want to make happen," that's the first act of powerful sovereignty.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: Even if it doesn't work out financially, that act alone is so powerful. To be decisive and to say, "This is what I want. How can we make this happen together?" It ends that validation seeking, that approval seeking, or it begins to end the validation and approval seeking that we are just so primed for.

Melissa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I think now it's to the point where my husband is like, "You're going to continue to do that, right?" Because he sees all the benefits, you know, of it.

Sara: Absolutely.

Melissa: And you know, and of course, I think the thing that I also find interesting is I've asked some of our colleagues who also coach men, you and I are not in that boat, but how very rarely they get on the call, "Like, I need to ask my wife if it's okay."

Sara: Yes. Yeah. It's just, like, it's just not a thing. The one skill that I really work with my clients on is tolerating discomfort.

Melissa: Mm.

Sara: Because, you know, you help people become their favorite you. I help people stop pleasing other people, stop people pleasing, stop perfection eating, and on the surface, those sound really fantastic.

I'd love to be my favorite me. I would love to stop people pleasing and perfection eating. And what we don't realize is how deeply uncomfortable becoming your favorite you can be, and how deeply uncomfortable it can be to stop people pleasing, and perfection eating. And even in just the little example that we're talking about, I imagine for so many women, myself included, there was a time, when, to go to my husband and say, "This is what I want. How can we make this happen together? This is what I know is best for me."

That would've been very uncomfortable. I would've been nervous. I might have felt some guilt. I might have felt some, you know, anxiousness around that conversation. And so, learning to tolerate that discomfort because it points you in the direction of your growth is a really, really essential skill. Because although the end and the result that we create together is amazing, there's some discomfort on the way there.

Melissa: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, I think we've been taught that life should not be uncomfortable. Yeah. Like the goal of life is to be, you know, happy all the time. That's just a bill of goods. And to make other people happy all the time. Just a total bill of goods that we've all been sold and bought into, and it's like, "Oh wait, no, I don't have to buy into that idea anymore. I can let it go."

Sara: Yeah. And women in particular, right?

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: If you are not happy and looking good, and if your body doesn't look like this and if you're not able to do these things, there is something wrong with you and you need to fix it. I mean, the way that women are primed for constant self-improvement is part of—it's the space that you and I work in, right?

Melissa: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sara: And I think we have to be conscious when we're working with people that we are primed to think we should be better. And so, helping clients understand the difference between "this is who I am when I deeply trust my own wisdom. This is what my body looks like when I deeply trust that I know how to eat. I know how to exercise for the way I want to feel divorced from this, like, Western Beauty standard. I deeply trust my own knowing, my own ability to feel my consent for things or not consent to things." That is completely different than, "I will help you become this person that everybody else thinks you should be, hat all the self-help books tell you that you should be, that all the diet books tell you you should be." And I think it's a distinction that is helpful, even for other coaches, is we are not trying to help women become an ideal, idealized version, the best of the best of the best.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: We are wanting to connect them to their own intuitive, wise selves and that will tell them everything they need to.

Melissa: Yeah, it's so funny because I can distinctly remember when I got disconnected from my intuition and my wise-ness. It was in fourth grade. It was in gym class and um, you know, in Catholic school we had to wear these ridiculous, like, pull-on jumpsuits.

They were blue shorts on the bottom, and they were like this white button up thing with a Peter Pan collar. And, you know, in fourth grade, what would that have been like? Would've been like ten. So, 1983? There were no, like, cute—like the women today, like the sports bras that we get to wear now? Amazing.

Sara: Yes.

Melissa: And all the designs and that type of thing. There was nothing like that. So, you know, I had… I went through puberty in, like, third and fourth grade, and I had boobs, and my gym teacher wanted my mom to bind me with an ace wrap on gym class days so that I wouldn't distract the boys in gym class.

Sara: Ahhhhh! Okay. If you are seeing… you can't see my face right now listening, but—

Melissa: Right?

Sara: Fourth grade, yeah. Your body is a problem.

Melissa: My body is a problem. It's a distraction to the other boys. They can't exercise, so I have to change my body so that they can participate in gym class.

Sara: Yeah. And we'll fix it by hiding you.

Melissa: Mm-hmm., Yeah. Gosh, you can't see my face right now, but I'm sad.

Sara: Yeah. And I bet every single one of you who is listening, if you are female or raised as female, socialize as a female, can remember back to moments like that.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: I was told by a bishop, who's like a religious leader in our congregation, that my shirt was too tight. And at the time, I just felt intense shame. And now, as a grown woman, I'm like, "dude, why are you looking at me? Look somewhere else. If it's a problem, take your eyes somewhere else." Right? That's the responsibility of every person who has eyes to take it somewhere else. And the ways in which those messages hit us when we're so young by people that we trust, by people whose approval we are conditioned to want, by people who are helping us. Like our survival depends on them wanting to help us, wanting to provide for us. I mean, people pleasing is baked into the pie.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: It's the way every single one of us gets our needs met. So, fourth grade, Melissa, I mean, you were a badass even back then and maybe, maybe you could have said, "hell no, I'm not ace wrapping my boobs." Just, I mean, maybe you felt—

Melissa: No, thank goodness. My mom was like a big "fuck you" to the gym teacher and was like, we're not doing that, so.

Sara: Okay. Amazing.

Melissa: Like, thank goodness that she did not people please in that instance, because that would change—

Sara: But I think so many other people would have!

Melissa: Well, the gym, oh, for sure.

Sara: He said we have to do this. Or the bishop, the pastor, the religious leader said this is the way it has to be. And so, we end up complying because we need; we are dependent on other people and for so many women that's people pleasing.

We behave in a way to get a reward and we notice which behaviors get rewarded, and so we do more of that. And so, we just find ourselves more and more entrenched in pleasing people because we have to get some of those needs met for approval and friendship and love and connection. And what I love about, you know, this talk that we're having is that there are so many ways out, like becoming my favorite version of myself.

Well, that means I have to actually ask myself, "what do I love about me?"

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: I've been other people's favorite version of me for so long, right? What is my favorite version of me? And if I'm going to stop people pleasing, I have to ask myself what pleases me? Where am I in all of this? Where is the space for me in my own life?

And so, whether you are finding your favorite version of yourself, whether you are stopping people pleasing, it leads to this sovereign self-trust, connected, you know, relationship with your own wisdom as your guide. And you just, you can't get it wrong.

Melissa: Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. It's impossible to get it wrong. You might get it wrong for a little bit, and then you get to change course. And you know, what I want to have people subscribe to is the idea that my favorite me now is not going to be my favorite me five years from now, or even six months from now. Like, things are going to change, and they're supposed to. Like, how boring would it be?

If my favorite version of me on February 8th, 2023 is the same as February 28th or whatever… you get the idea?

Sara: Yes.

Melissa: Right?

Sara: Yeah. Five years from now, Melissa will be different and she should be.

Melissa: Mm-hmm.

Sara: Right? And it's totally fine. And if she isn't, that's also totally fine.

Melissa: Yeah.

Sara: Like removing the expectations entirely.

Melissa: Right. All the shoulds.

Sara: All the shoulds. And allowing me to guide myself on whimsy, on, you know, on dreams, on things that require hard work, on making changes to what I eat, if I like my reasons for that. All of it. But guided by a connection to myself. Deep self-love. Deep trust that even though I want mac and cheese today, it's fine if I want peanut butter and jelly later. It's fine.

It doesn't matter. I will have my own back on my decisions and nobody else has to like it or approve or agree because I agree. I approve.

Melissa: Yeah. So, good. I think we all need to get a big stamp that says "approved."

Sara: Approved by me.

Melissa: Yes. All right, Sara, tell me how the listeners of Your Favorite You can find me and then I'll tell the listeners of The Good Girl Podcast… or Ex-Good Girl Podcast! See, I did it.

Sara: Get it right, Melissa!

Melissa: The Ex-Good Girl Podcast can find you!

Sara: You can find Melissa Parsons by searching Melissa Parsons Coaching. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook. She currently takes clients for an amazing one-to-one experience and… She's starting a group. This is the most incredible opportunity, because in a group setting, you not only learn from your own experience, but you're with a bunch of women who are in the very same process that you're in, and you learn from them and their experiences as well.

Melissa: Sara, I couldn't have said it any better. So, you can find Sara at @Sarafiskcoach on Instagram and Facebook. You can find her on her website, which I believe is


Melissa: Oh, sorry,

Sara: That's okay.

Melissa: And then her new podcast, the Ex-Good Girl Podcast, is out everywhere. You can listen every week. I know I'm going to. And every little way I'm still trying to be a good girl, I know Sara's going to help me figure out how I can be just a little bit bad.

Sara: Oh my gosh! Do we need you to be a little bit more bad? I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't listen to this podcast. Just kidding.

Melissa: So, true. And quite on brand. Quite on brand. All right. And then Sara does group coaching. A bunch of amazing badass women all in the group getting to see each other, to share in their vulnerability. I think one of the best things about group is that when you're not the person in the hot seat getting coaching, it's so much easier to see possibility for other people than it is for ourselves. And a good coach who coaches in a group always brings it back to, "and this is how all of you can use this." And I know that Sara does that.

Sara: Absolutely.

Melissa: Thank you so much, Sara, for agreeing to this podcast episode. It's been a pleasure. And we could talk for hours, but… I don't know, maybe people want us to. Maybe we should ask. We should do a poll.

Sara: 'Til next time. We'll cut it off here before it takes a turn because it always does when you're talking with Melissa Parsons.

Melissa: Man, truer words have never been spoken. I'm just glad that we stayed clothed.

Sara: I love you.

Melissa: I love you too. Bye Sara.

Sara: Bye.

Melissa: I want to offer you the opportunity to give yourself the best gift. I'm offering you the gift of greater connection with your favorite person. You. I'm excited to announce my group coaching program that so many of you have inquired about. In a surprise twist you all saw coming, the group will also be called Your Favorite You. The aim of this group is to help you in any area of your life where you might not yet be your favorite you.

We will be improving your most important relationship. The one that you have with yourself. We will definitely also work on all the other relationships that are important in your life, that with your significant other, with your children, with your parents, and siblings, with your friends. We will help you figure out if perfectionism is serving you. Spoiler alert, it's not.

We will help you figure out why you readily do things to please other people while you're letting yourself down. And my hope is that all of my clients learn that there is so much freedom when you stop trying to control other people, so that you can just concentrate on the only thing you can control: you.

I'm thrilled to offer group coaching for several reasons. First, sometimes it's easier to see solutions for similar problems when you are not in the hot seat for. It is powerful to see another human with a similar issue have an aha, or a light-bulb moment. Next, group coaching provides you with a new group of like-minded women who become your peers.

I'm committed to adding this experience for you because I want you to have this opportunity to become your favorite you, and to experience an incredible community. The third benefit is the ability to come every week and share yourself vulnerably, and watch others share vulnerably. We know that shame only grows in silence and in hiding, and the power of being held by other incredible humans, who are often caught in some of the same traps of thinking that you are, is truly undeniable.

I would love to have you as one of the founding members of the group. If you join as a founding member, you'll receive a one-on-one Emotional Integration Workshop session with me to use during the duration of the group.

We start in May. I'm so excited! And we will be meeting weekly as a group, and you can be coached by me, and observe others be coached by me for six months. I am also thrilled to be offering special guest coaches, other amazing women that I know and love and trust that can offer us teaching on topics that we all need to learn about.

So, if you've been listening to the podcast for some time now and have a desire to learn how to actually do the work to become your favorite you, please book a call with me to discuss whether or not you would be a good fit for the group.

You can do that by going to my website,, and click on the "Work with Me" tab and click "Book Now" to book yourself into my calendar.

I can't wait to talk to you. Have a great week everybody.

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Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Your Favorite You.

If you like what you're hearing and want to learn more, head over to if you want to work with me to find your favorite you, to become your own best friend so that you can create the life you want with intention, please go to to set up a consult to work with me one-on-one. I so look forward to meeting you.

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