Back in the day when I was way more self-critical than I am now, I would jokingly, but not jokingly, call myself a control freak.
As I've gained compassion for myself and wisdom about why I was so fixated on controlling everything in my life, I came up with the term “control enthusiasm.”
I used to think that in order for me to be happy, I had to control everyone else I cared about and make it so that they were happy too, or at least pretending to be happy for my sake.
"The first is that what happens to me in my life is always happening for me instead of to me. And so, it stands to reason that if I believe that about myself, I can also believe that about other people, whatever happens to them is for them."
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What You'll Learn:
How trying to control others goes hand in hand with perfectionistic tendencies
If we're still trying to figure out what's best for ourself, how could be possibly know what's best for others?
How Control Enthusiasm often rears it's ugly head with our kiddos and partners and what to do about it
Why we can give ourselves lots of grace and course correct when we catch ourselves trying to control those we love
As parents we try to reach the impossible goal of smoothing the path for our kids but it's not possible. They must stumble and learn on their own
"What makes us strong and what makes us resilient and what makes us ultimately successful is not having a smooth path and success after success. It's through some of the struggles and making mistakes and having values big and small."
Once I started approving of myself, accepting myself just as I was and trusting myself to always take care of me, no matter the outcome, no matter what I did, no matter what those I cared about did or didn't do, that was the key (spoiler alert, you can actually create any emotion you want for yourself too).
Once you start doing that, you no longer need to rely on anyone else. You hold your own keys to your life, and that is a powerful realization. If you are a self-diagnosed control enthusiast, or if you would like help figuring out how to create the life you want for yourself with love and intention, I would love to be your guide. Click here to schedule a conversation with me.
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