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#69 Pivoting (When Things Don't Go The Way You Thought They Would)

Today, I am talking about how to pivot when things don't go the way you were hoping. I was inspired to share this with you because I found myself feeling disappointed when some of the amazing women in my latest group coaching cohort decided not to participate. To help me work through this, I turned to my amazing coach, Maggie, and she helped me see how many options I had if I allowed myself to pivot. 

In this episode, you'll learn how to pivot when it's time to make a shift so you can be the best version of yourself!

Be sure to listen in all the way to the end because I'm sharing details about a bonus call that I'm offering once you join my next group coaching cohort!

Since you’re ready to become your favorite version of you, book a consult to learn more about working with me as your coach.

"My favorite me isn't spoiled by all the success I've had so far in my business. My favorite me isn't entitled to amazing clients. My favorite me figures shit out."

What you'll learn in this episode:

  • Ways that pivoting helps you turn setbacks into growth opportunities

  • Practical steps on how to pivot effectively when things don't go as expected

  • The value of feeling your emotions and using them to propel you into action

  • How to evaluate your options, make decisions, and stick to them

"Feel any of the feelings that come up when things don't go your way. It might be sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, confusion, many more feelings, I'm sure. Take as long as you need to feel that feeling and let it kind of flow through you."

Mentioned in this episode:

Be sure to sign up for a consult to see if coaching with me is the right fit for you. Join me on a powerful journey to become your favorite you.

Listen to the full episode:

Read the full episode transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around. 

Well, hello there. Welcome back to Your Favorite You. Today I am talking about pivoting when things don't go the way you thought they were going to. I was inspired to write this episode by myself. Something happened recently in my business that made me decide to pivot. If you have been following along recently, my newest group cohort started this week. I'm writing this episode on January 10th, 2024. Leading up to this group, I had five women commit to becoming their favorite versions of themselves, which I was thrilled and delighted about. And then at the last moment, literally within the past three to four days, three of the five women decided for a variety of reasons that they did not want to participate in the group.

As I am a human being, this made me disappointed for a variety of reasons. Number one, I know that these women who changed their minds will likely be back when the timing is right for them, and I actually wanted to help them right now. Number two, the two amazing women who are in the group right now and are ready to get started on their favorite versions of themselves signed up for, and were sold a group experience by me.

While two people does technically form a group, I had envisioned several women supporting each other, being vulnerable and sharing their life experiences, their wins, and their challenges in the group. I allowed myself to be disappointed for a bit. I got coaching by my amazing coach, Maggie, and she helped me see how many options I had if I allowed myself to pivot. So first what we did was Maggie helped me come up with a thought and a feeling that helped me to make this pivot after I was willing to feel the disappointment of it.

The thought that I came up with is as the CEO of my business, it is my job to figure this out. This thought led to a feeling of determination. Old me would've spent a lot of time in the disappointment stage. I probably would've made it mean something about me that these women were initially a yes on their calls and then changed their minds. Don't get me wrong, I let it mean something about me for a minute because my brain is just like all of yours.

I have been conditioned to take everything personally. Thanks to coaching, in this case where I'm the client, I have been unlearning this for some time now. So though my brain initially wanted me to make this about me, I also had the ability to see that the fact that these amazing women were initially a yes and then it turned in nos for right now actually has little to do with me. If you've listened to all of my podcast episodes so far, you will know that one of my favorite books that helps me be My Favorite Me is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

This is the second agreement, don't take anything personally. We will link to my episode about the Four Agreements in the show notes. So if you haven't listened to that one or it's been a while, you can go back and listen. After I allowed myself to feel the disappointment and recognized that it did not have anything to do with me, I was able to see that I had so many options with what I wanted to do with my group. I was actually able to see how this may be happening for me. It was happening for me because this is a situation I have not yet run into in my business.

I have not yet had to pivot and think outside the box for this group program. This is my opportunity to do that. Again, as the CEO of my business, it is normal for me to be thrown by things. I recognize that I signed up for this, for new challenges and that I am human and I actually don't want to be bored in my work. This is my opportunity to be thrown by something and to figure it out like the badass that I am. The other way that this was happening for me is that my email list has grown so much since I launched this January 2024 cohort back in November.

I told you guys before that I started running a Facebook ad to build my email list and to reach more and more incredible women. My list has grown by several hundred women, which is so fun, but this growth of my email list all happened after the webinar that I presented in November. This relaunch of my group is going to make it so that the people who have just gotten to know me or know that I exist as a coach in these past two months will have the opportunity to come to my webinar on January 29th at 7:00 PM Eastern and have the opportunity to learn from me in a webinar setting.

Then hear all about the benefits of joining the group, ask their questions, interact with me. You get the idea hopefully. I was actually able to see how it was happening for my clients too. More on that later. As I saw it with my coach's help, I could run the group as it was with my two incredible clients. That had benefits. First benefit is that I did not have to do any extra work.

The two clients who were already signed up would definitely get more than enough coaching for me and probably more than they signed up for. I didn't have to change much if at all. I also did not have to admit that business was not going as I had planned. I didn't have to go public about anything, which would've been nice. It also had disadvantages. Like I said earlier, I had sold these two women a group experience where they would find community and comradery and be encouraged to share themselves vulnerably in a group.

There are not many places where we are encouraged to do this as women in our society.

Also, with life being life, there will be some times when one or both of the women will not be able to make it to our Wednesday at 1:00 PM meeting. That would not be a huge problem as I would just coach them one-on-one, but again, it was not the experience that I had sold them and that they had signed up for. My other option was to postpone the group altogether for a few months and launch again in the spring.

The only benefit I could see here are the same ones that I listed in option one, and there were additional disadvantages for my current clients who really are ready to go with their coaching experience now. So this option was really easy for me to think on for a minute and eliminate. The third option, and the one I went with was to postpone the quote unquote, "Official start of the group" until February 14th. Do my webinar on January 29th with a different topic this time, Loving Yourself Just As You Are.

With this option, I will be offering consults between now and February 14th for all of the people who are new to my email list and my social media following on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn. The advantages to this decision are that I'm going to have the opportunity to act in a different way with my new followers and email recipients in the form of a webinar. Another advantage that I likely in the past would've seen as a disadvantage is that I get to be human in front of all of you, admit that things in my business did not go to plan and publicly pivot.

I have already gotten messages from other coaches thanking me for sharing my vulnerability, so this is a win. A third advantage that again past me would've seen as not so advantageous is the fact that I'm going through my emails again, making sure that they say what I want you to know so that you can feel safe and excited to join the group. The fourth advantage is that I'm offering bonus calls to my current two women in the group.

We are going to meet at our designated time on the Wednesdays leading up to February 14th. This is how this change is happening for them. One of my clients who renewed for my initial group to be in this group again, actually burst into tears when I told her she would be getting the bonus calls. She already knows what she can accomplish with five additional calls with me and thinks that this offer is so generous. The second woman who's new to the group is just excited to get started.

She doesn't really care about the format at the moment. So this bonus is available to you all as well. If you decide to join before February 7th, you will get one bonus call. If you decide to join before January 31st, you will get two. If you decide to join before January 24th, you will get three. The only disadvantage to this option is that my VA, Jenny, and I have to do a bit more work to clean up and change my emails and social media posts.

This is work that we would have to do with every launch, so it's just happening a bit sooner than she or I thought it would. Oh, and another thing, I've already decided that this group is going to be amazing no matter what. If for whatever reason, no one else says yes to this round, it was always supposed to be just the three of us, and we're fine with that. This third option definitely leads me closer to my favorite me. My favorite me isn't spoiled by all the success I've had so far in my business.

My favorite me isn't entitled to amazing clients. My favorite me figures shit out. She always has and she always will. In retrospect, I actually told the universe that I wanted to fail more this year, and the universe is just testing me, asking me if I'm sure. So if me failing means I get to help more people become their favorite versions of themselves, then I actually do want that. Having to do this thought exercise and make these decisions and share them with all of you is for my growth, and I am here for it. So how can you apply this to yourself? How can you pivot when things don't go your way?

Number one, feel any of the feelings that come up when things don't go your way. It might be sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, confusion, many more feelings, I'm sure. Take as long as you need to feel that feeling and let it kind of flow through you. Next, find a thought and a feeling that will help you take action to figure out your next steps. Number three, lay out all your options. Ask your brain, "And what else? And what else? And what else?" Until you figure out all your options. Number four, find the reasons to love every option.

Number five, find the reasons that would go against each option. Number six, ask yourself, "Which of these will help me grow? Which of these leads me closer to my favorite version of me?" Number seven, make your decision and see it all the way through. This is where I am right now. This is what I'm doing right now. And then finally, number eight, evaluate after the end result. I will do a podcast after February 14th where I share how I evaluate this relaunch of my launch.

I hope that this helps any of you that have had to recently pivot or who may have to pivot here in the upcoming future. I also hope that you sign up for my webinar on January 29th at 7:00 PM Eastern. Like I said, I'm going to be teaching on loving yourself just as you are, and I would love to see you there. If you want to register, you can go to my Facebook or my Instagram or my LinkedIn page and go to the link in my bio.

Better yet, if you're not yet on my email list, go to, scroll to the bottom of the homepage and add yourself to my email list. That way you will get all of the emails I'm working on right now. Okay. Hope you all have a great week, and if you have to pivot this week, welcome to being human. I hope this episode gives you a way to move forward. See you next time.

Hey, everybody, don't go quite yet. I want to let you know all the ways that you can work with me.

If you've been listening to this podcast and maybe especially you have listened to episodes where I interview my clients, and you are thinking like the older woman in the diner in the classic Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal film, When Harry Met Sally... In the film, Sally is proving a point to Harry by faking an orgasm while in public at a diner. Sally finishes, so to speak, and then takes a bite of her food. The older woman in the next booth says, "I'll have what she's having." If you've been thinking, "I'll have what she's having," this is your sign from the universe to schedule a consult with me.

I have a few spots available for one-on-one coaching with me. This is a space where I am laser focused on you and your brain for six months at a time. I will also be doing consults with women who want to join my next group coaching cohort, which will likely start in the spring of 2024. The way to contact me is to go to my website,, go to the Work With Me page and click book now to schedule your consult. I will look forward to hearing from you. Let's make 2024 your year ever as you become your favorite you.


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